Analysis of my work
Portraying one’s own mother is a difficult task of conscious remembering and willful forgetting. Knowing any person through and through is humanly impossible, and not all information is available try as hard as we may. This holds true for all even a person as close as a mother. Yet there is a constant dilemma of knowing and not knowing one’s own mother. A situation very challenging but hard to confront. While documenting her illness I have left apart her feelings arising on account of the same.
Through my art I intend to know and express that. I have tried not to treat my mother as an object but to elucidate with total sensitivity on how her life is being transformed by the sheer act of lying passively on the bed as compelled by circumstances.
However my work is void enough to unveil her ailment nor can it explain her commitment to her moral obligations towards children and family to the total and absolute disregard of her personal health.
My most recent work “Unrevealed… Unspoken…Untold…” and “Because i miss my mother too…” aims at explaining her experience as a patient and how her body is being controlled by medication alone. The question is not of being a martyr nor heroic nor victim; the glaring question that stares into our eyes is of being a woman. How a woman is oppressed in different ways in her day-to-day life, which she bears with inner courage without expression but which unknowingly does take a toll on her life. There is a yearning to be loved and yet wanting to break away.
The film titled “Because i miss my mother too…” is filmed in stop motion technique. I have tried to bring out the resonance between my mother’s physical movements with frame by frame progression of the film.
Through my art I intend to know and express that. I have tried not to treat my mother as an object but to elucidate with total sensitivity on how her life is being transformed by the sheer act of lying passively on the bed as compelled by circumstances.
However my work is void enough to unveil her ailment nor can it explain her commitment to her moral obligations towards children and family to the total and absolute disregard of her personal health.
My most recent work “Unrevealed… Unspoken…Untold…” and “Because i miss my mother too…” aims at explaining her experience as a patient and how her body is being controlled by medication alone. The question is not of being a martyr nor heroic nor victim; the glaring question that stares into our eyes is of being a woman. How a woman is oppressed in different ways in her day-to-day life, which she bears with inner courage without expression but which unknowingly does take a toll on her life. There is a yearning to be loved and yet wanting to break away.
The film titled “Because i miss my mother too…” is filmed in stop motion technique. I have tried to bring out the resonance between my mother’s physical movements with frame by frame progression of the film.
Some people count sheep, others meditate; some medicate. "Insomnolence" is a series which depicts my encounter with insomnia. It consists of 38 pen drawings on paper. Through this project i have used my personal battle with insomnia as a way to creativity and productivity. The drawings are my first and foremost reaction to Insomnia. Each drawing says something about the respective night.
I have used mark making as my technique. The sound thus produced from making marks on paper is similar to sounds I get distracted at night. Trying to make similar sounds on paper, I recorded different sounds which distract me. I intend to sync each drawing with a sound. With increasing disturbance, marks get more dense. Unlike artist Jean Paul Garnier who creates sound patterns for people who are struggling with Insomnia, I have tried to produce a disturbing sound pattern depicting my Insomnia. Though Garnier stays being an influence on my practice.
“Maa you never told me there would be days like this…” is an ongoing project which depicts the absence of my mother in my life. Being away from my mother for such a long time created an urge in me to share my life with her through my drawings. I chose to draw my surroundings on the back of the postcard. Postcards then were addressed to my mother, serving as my messages to her.
This project influenced by "News from Home" by Chantal Ackerman, invokes a thought in viewer. The messages are kept in Hindi script thus preserving its authenticity.
However, it made difficult for viewer to understand the work because of the language barrier. I intend to make my work more communicating without losing its integrity.
Skype being the only medium of communication between me and my mother played an important role in our lives. Being able to see her, and at the same time realisation of the distance between the two screens was rejoicing and saddening.
As a result I started a series of work titled “On the other side-I & II”. Depiction of distance is an important part of this project. Also the isolation of me and my mother is clearly evident in the series.
“On the other side-I” is series of Skype snapshots of my mother’s daily routine. On the other hand “ On the other side-II” is the isolation of myself in a different country. The drawings show my surrounding and the place I live in.
As a result I started a series of work titled “On the other side-I & II”. Depiction of distance is an important part of this project. Also the isolation of me and my mother is clearly evident in the series.
“On the other side-I” is series of Skype snapshots of my mother’s daily routine. On the other hand “ On the other side-II” is the isolation of myself in a different country. The drawings show my surrounding and the place I live in.
Russell Pop Show
From the period of last two years I had constantly tried to create drawings by using the technique of mark making on paper.
Drawing still stands as my favourite medium. For me it is a personal process of searching and observing things, medium that enables me to manifest a registered picture from my mind in to reality using the pen or pencil. Drawing and mark making are my very first reaction to any work I plan to do. I am highly fascinated by the lines I draw, the marks I make on a plain white sheet of paper.
Some of the projects done on the medium are “MAA"-2012-2013, “Untitled Drawings"-2013-2014 and “Untitled”-2013.
Wires
As a person of Indian origin embedded deeply in Indian culture and values, coming to UK for higher education is all together a different experience.
Paving my way in this new place, with personalised predominant images, created a sense of agitation inside my mind. First two months were ended only in searching, observing and trying to adapt things. Leaving my subject behind, trying to start fresh I was looking for something in my new surroundings. Something that was not restrained to boundaries or distance. Thus the hanging wires and cables caught my attention. They were not confined to any particular country or religion. It was just another ignored object from our routine which eventually plays an important role in this modernised world.
While drawing wires the sense of distance came back to me. I could now differentiate between the wires here and wires back in my home country. They no more seem to be similar. For me they signify the difference and complexities of both the cultures.
An insight of the relationship between both the notions is essential to me.
Although not much has been done on this project so far as my continual thinking of past was impossible to stabilise. Starting a new project all together didn’t seem to have worked well for me. I, eventually, after generating very few works shifted back to my previous and most desirable subject “my mother” which I denote as “MAA”.
Living alone away from my mother and family is not an easy task but it also bought me privilege of time to reflect back. During this time I realised how totally ignorant I was about most things and what more I can do for my work.
I now understand the role of research in my practice. How research helps you to identify your subject better. Thus researching thoroughly about my subject became my goal for next few months. During research new areas of interest arise and sometimes while researching I caught myself in moments of self –realisation and was amazed to find artists whom I could relate to so well. The acceptance of my weakness and of my strengths was a major step towards repairing my work. It forced me to look into more coherent ways of understanding my mother and her life and how to depict her in best possible way.
This reworking is initially exciting and at the same time confusing. Changing subjects working on different projects and then ultimately finding my way out was a short but eventful journey. Enthusiastic, frustrated, tensed I have been through all of these emotions.
